Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I am a Stay-at-Home Failure

The OSG family Wife/Homemaker/Mom is on vacation this week. Visiting her mom and grandmom down in FLA. Sleeping late, sunning at the pool, maybe taking a stroll, living large, taking it easy.

Meanwhile, the rest of the OSG family is teetering dangerously close to derailing.

There is no food in the house. Someone clogged and overflowed a toilet upstairs. Sister needs rides to cheerleading at the same time Brother needs rides to the hockey banquet. Dad has saddle sores from driving errands and shuttling teenagers. The dog is still at the kennel from last week’s trip because no one has the time or inclination to go retrieve her. One of the cars is stuck in the garage with a dead battery. We missed the weekly trash pickup. Everyone is running low on underwear and sox. First spawn needs help packing for his school trip to Russia. Somebody’s girlfriend is coming over this afternoon, and we were just informed there is a middle school party here this weekend??

Calendar is showing 7 work-related conference calls today – silly season looms, couple of very pressing issues, some routine stuff, and about a dozen live projects on the burner.

Friend of ours is a homemaker/dad – wife’s a mucky-muck in perfumes or something. I love the guy, seems so relaxed, funny. Whenever we get together, I chuckle and tease Mrs. OSG about his ‘arrangement’ – ‘gee, I wish my wife would take care of me like that…I’d love to stay home, get my nails done, and watch some Soaps’…

OK, God – I get the message.

Final errand before she gets home will be a stop at the Jewelry store.

But first I gotta get the dog.

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