Was happy to see that Autotrader is switching over from iSCSI to NFS for its VMware storage layer. Good to see that Main Street is catching on.
Remember Kirby’s Law?
Simply stated – the proper location for virtualization is in the layer immediately above the resources to be virtualized.
You want to virtualize a bunch of servers, do it in the network connecting the servers.
You want to virtualize a bunch of processor cycles, do it in the software running on the processors.
You want to virtualize a bunch of storage arrays, do it in the network connecting the storage arrays.
You want to virtualize a bunch of disks, do in the controller connecting the disks to the network.
I am getting a kick out of xen-vm-ness being so screaming hot – saves $5k per instance per year, green green green – gotta do, do, do it, hot, hot, hot…
ya ok…go nuts…have fun
This ain’t rocket science – we’ve been virtualizing stuff since the sixties. You would think the vm-zen-whippersnappers invented it – hell, I was writing about why virtualization made so much sense before most of those little sh*ts got their first Gulfstreams.
Now – fair warning. There are a lot of nefarious speaker-posters who for various self-serving reasons are going to tell you that virtualization of one particular resource should be done several layers above it, in it, or below it – server virtualization software should be used to virtualize disks or some such hoowee.
Nonsense. You still doing disk mirroring on your host servers, are ya?
Kirby’s law always applies. Virtualize your storage in the layer right above it – not in it, not two levels above it.
If you are smart enough to understand that files are the smallest manageable logical storage entity to have business context, then you may already know the right place to virtualize storage today is in the network connecting the file servers to the application servers. If not, you soon will – as soon as you realize how limiting 16TB really becomes in a virtual server environment, for instance.
If you are virtualizing processor power with some sort of vm-zen-ness – good for you. However, before you go down the path of connecting virtualized servers to virtualized raw disk, consider that doing so means that you are ultimately going to be reliant on server virtualization to virtualize the raw disk two or three layers below.
This abrogates Kirby’s Law, is probably dumb, and will ultimately lead you down an ugly dark dead end path inhabited by proprietary ghosts and prohibitively expensive goblins.
If I am right, in a few years, the world will realize that using iSCSI or FC SAN with vm-zen-ness is stoopid.
Are you still hard-coding access control into your COBOL applications? No Duh…
Was I right about Flash? Yup…
If you are virtualizing your server environment – use NFS as your storage protocol. It’s better, period, end of story. Don't beleive me, ask Nick Triantos at NetApp. If you are ok with limited storage capacity, let a NAS storage controller virtualize your disk and present NFS to your virtual servers. If you want to protect yourself from lock-in and the pain of provisioning beyond a single NAS controller, do your virtualization in the network connecting your storage arrays to your virtualized servers.
People this is simple stuff – do not let the vendor obfustication blind you to the light.
Obey the law.
If you think I am wrong, see previous posts. I am not wrong.
My only question is how do I put my money where my mouth is this time?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Where the demons dwell and they do live well!
Howard Marks writing for Information Week about Netapp's rebranding today called it "a stunning demonstration of branding over substance"
Wow - that's wrong. Here's why. And, I cannot for the life of me beleive I am going to defend these guys - but coming from me, especially, this oozes cred..
The reason for the rebranding isn't about the brand its about redefining the market - and, yeah, the n logo stinks. Did anyone see the re-runs of Spinal Tap on TBS this weekend? You can't look at the n and not think Nigel Tuffnell. BTW - does a Netapp filer go to 11? oops... I digress....
The point of the exercise is to reposition the company as a player in a larger market. Netapp is currently the dominant player in a finite market - their johnny-one-note tune is getting a little tired - and they need to move beyond selling storage (beyond NAS actually) and be viewed by customers as capable of solving problems in a larger market context.
After a while, even market leaders start running out of market. So as you reach the limits of stealing marketshare, you have to redefine yourself to enable customers to think of you when they have problems outside your previous niche.
Maturing markets don't often endure challenges to the market leader - so it's not a great surprise that customers don't seriously consider Netapp for block storage. EMC owns that space in the market's phrenology. Likewise NAS - Netapp owns that bump of market brainmap that responds when a customer thinks NAS.
EMC attempting to sell NAS, or Netapp attempting to sell block is a fool's errand. Both have to redefine themselves as offering solutions for a new larger market. In so doing, they have an opportunity to establish the definition of the future market in their own terms.
EMC was able to establish a foundation for moving beyond storage without a major rebranding - EMC as a brand element is a relatively empty vessel - it has no context other than that given to it by EMC itself. So it was easy to add the tagline, "where information lives" without rebranding the entire company - and poof, they went from a company that sold devices "where data is stored" to a company selling solutions "where information lives" - now their market includes all form of information management services, tools, devices, etc.
Network Appliance had a bigger challenge. Appliances have a definition in the mind of the market. They are boxes. So to support a larger future market that should include all forms of solution delivery - at least well beyond NAS and block boxes - they needed to establish a more loosely defined brand - but couldn't abandon their heritage either. So Netapp makes sense.
This effort is not at all without substance. It is a critical step in order for Netapp to move beyond the confines of the storage array market and become viewed in the mind's-eye of the customer as capable of offering solutions for more than storing data.
It will be interesting to see how Netapp defines that future market - one hopes it will be in a very broad context supporting vastly larger revenue streams, and not just another tortured umbrella excuse for continued shilling of sheet metal and spinning disks.
In any event - it was good enough to get Jay out of the OSG doghouse.
Wow - that's wrong. Here's why. And, I cannot for the life of me beleive I am going to defend these guys - but coming from me, especially, this oozes cred..
The reason for the rebranding isn't about the brand its about redefining the market - and, yeah, the n logo stinks. Did anyone see the re-runs of Spinal Tap on TBS this weekend? You can't look at the n and not think Nigel Tuffnell. BTW - does a Netapp filer go to 11? oops... I digress....
The point of the exercise is to reposition the company as a player in a larger market. Netapp is currently the dominant player in a finite market - their johnny-one-note tune is getting a little tired - and they need to move beyond selling storage (beyond NAS actually) and be viewed by customers as capable of solving problems in a larger market context.
After a while, even market leaders start running out of market. So as you reach the limits of stealing marketshare, you have to redefine yourself to enable customers to think of you when they have problems outside your previous niche.
Maturing markets don't often endure challenges to the market leader - so it's not a great surprise that customers don't seriously consider Netapp for block storage. EMC owns that space in the market's phrenology. Likewise NAS - Netapp owns that bump of market brainmap that responds when a customer thinks NAS.
EMC attempting to sell NAS, or Netapp attempting to sell block is a fool's errand. Both have to redefine themselves as offering solutions for a new larger market. In so doing, they have an opportunity to establish the definition of the future market in their own terms.
EMC was able to establish a foundation for moving beyond storage without a major rebranding - EMC as a brand element is a relatively empty vessel - it has no context other than that given to it by EMC itself. So it was easy to add the tagline, "where information lives" without rebranding the entire company - and poof, they went from a company that sold devices "where data is stored" to a company selling solutions "where information lives" - now their market includes all form of information management services, tools, devices, etc.
Network Appliance had a bigger challenge. Appliances have a definition in the mind of the market. They are boxes. So to support a larger future market that should include all forms of solution delivery - at least well beyond NAS and block boxes - they needed to establish a more loosely defined brand - but couldn't abandon their heritage either. So Netapp makes sense.
This effort is not at all without substance. It is a critical step in order for Netapp to move beyond the confines of the storage array market and become viewed in the mind's-eye of the customer as capable of offering solutions for more than storing data.
It will be interesting to see how Netapp defines that future market - one hopes it will be in a very broad context supporting vastly larger revenue streams, and not just another tortured umbrella excuse for continued shilling of sheet metal and spinning disks.
In any event - it was good enough to get Jay out of the OSG doghouse.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Shame
I am whimping out and taking Jay off the hall of shame.
To be fair, he has earned back his OSG priviledges. The rebranding, remessaging, repositioning exercise was well done (yeah, the logo is terrible, but who really cares?). He's done a fine job in a short time as CMO and I'm impressed with the results.
gawd that hurt...
To be fair, he has earned back his OSG priviledges. The rebranding, remessaging, repositioning exercise was well done (yeah, the logo is terrible, but who really cares?). He's done a fine job in a short time as CMO and I'm impressed with the results.
gawd that hurt...
Hot Stuff
As many of you know – and my waistline unfortunately shows – I have a penchant for Indian food. Pammy does not share my enthusiasm for this bi-directional heat flow, so I usually limit my indulgence for Indian exoticity to road trips.
Over the years, I have scoped out the temperature of Chicken Vindaloo from Houston to Honolulu. I have tested the nuances of Naan from Cheswick to what is left of Czechoslovakia. I have a file somewhere in the basement with take-out menus from some of the best curry shops around the world. One of these days, I’ll write a guide to global Indian eating.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in Seattle. By now, I’ve spent enough time out there that my friends and colleagues who live there have learned that I am really not that interesting…they have their own more interesting lives to lead outside of work, and don’t feel like sporting me around town anymore. So, I now find myself eating alone quite a bit when I am out there.
I personally like the rundown, out of the way, local greasy Samosa’s just as well, or even more than the ornate elegance of the Bombay Bicycle Club’s of the world. Over that past few months, I’ve found several of these Indian velvet Elvis spots that offer a welcoming meal to a lone diner, and I am thankful to all of them.
I tripped into a good one, Laadla, near my hotel in South Lake Union. I appreciate the family effort involved in creating and running humble spots like this – I love kitsch, and these places have India-kitsch down to a science - Nauga-hyde booths, and paint on velvet Indian art tacked up on the walls, and music that makes your teeth hurt even before the chili’s. Mom brings a candle to your table with water and roti, son takes the orders, and Dad or Uncle is tending the clay tandoor oven in the back. The dishes are what you would expect they serve guests in their home, and they are so happy to have you join them for dinner that you are almost embarrassed to be invading their space. Sure the chicken is dark meat and a little grisly, the pakora is a little oily – but it all tastes so good its hard to stop. I imagine this is how foreign tourist must feel about eating in an American diner…a cultural crossover - you are getting honest, local, proud, working class food.
And if you are lucky, like I was at Laadla, the food is so freaking hot it makes the bottoms of your feet sweat. I love these places. When you travel as much as I do – and you find yourself eating alone as much as I do – they are a friendly oasis in almost any town in virtually any country.
Every once in a few years of my Indian indigestion, I’ve run across a different sort of Indian themed restaurant. Simla Pink’s in Manchester (England…England – beyond the Atlantic Sea – there is a special OSG inspired tee-shirt headed to the first respondent who knows where that line comes from…) is one – omigod, I need an excuse to go back there. These folks took cool urban hip and infused it into curry. The result is tapas meets tika. One of the best ever. No velvet, no bollywood music, just awesome food. Please doesn’t somebody in Manchester need a visit from an OSG? Ah, but I digress…
My point in sharing all this nonsense is that I just tripped over another standout spot so good it warrants this much ink. Chutney’s Grill on 15th Avenue in Capital Hill of Seattle slams heat into Northwest/California cool. Lots of glass, ferns, brass, and no squeally anti-tonal Indi-musak. No dark meat. No grease. Just great food. Clean, lite, delicious non-gruelly. The Naan is butter free – toasty, fluffy, light and delicious. Vegetable samosas are hand-made, sweet, with a strong potato flavor. No greasy stain on the plate, no oil build up on the doily.
I almost always order Chicken Vindaloo in an Indian – creature of habit, I guess – but this time my new friend, Chutney owner Geogy Chacko recommended Tika Marsala instead (east coasters might know this as butter chicken). I was surprised to find chunks of roast, boneless, gristle-less, white meat swimming in a soft and delicious orange colored cream sauce. Hot, yeah, but so much more complex - with sweet, tomato, and vinegary-sour fighting for tongue-time. Delicious spooned on the light, fluffy, and colorfully spiced basmati – and I am embarrassed to say, just as good drenched on the left over Naan, and perhaps just as wonderful in licking the bowl if I had been in a slightly less visible table.
Don’t be fooled though – there are several Chutney’s in Seattle, Geogy and his partners built for our five before going their separate ways. Only Chutney’s Grill on the Hill is still owned and managed by Geogy and his family – I cannot speak for the rest of the now broken-up chain. But I can tell you that the folks at Chutney’s Grill have taken Indian food to a higher level – this is not the typical Indian equivalent of a ham and egger – it is an Indian spiced owner-chef fusion experience – yet it somehow maintains the unaffected home cooked personality that makes a hungry, lonely traveler look forward to returning.
Don’t tell Pam…but I can’t wait for my next trip…
Over the years, I have scoped out the temperature of Chicken Vindaloo from Houston to Honolulu. I have tested the nuances of Naan from Cheswick to what is left of Czechoslovakia. I have a file somewhere in the basement with take-out menus from some of the best curry shops around the world. One of these days, I’ll write a guide to global Indian eating.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in Seattle. By now, I’ve spent enough time out there that my friends and colleagues who live there have learned that I am really not that interesting…they have their own more interesting lives to lead outside of work, and don’t feel like sporting me around town anymore. So, I now find myself eating alone quite a bit when I am out there.
I personally like the rundown, out of the way, local greasy Samosa’s just as well, or even more than the ornate elegance of the Bombay Bicycle Club’s of the world. Over that past few months, I’ve found several of these Indian velvet Elvis spots that offer a welcoming meal to a lone diner, and I am thankful to all of them.
I tripped into a good one, Laadla, near my hotel in South Lake Union. I appreciate the family effort involved in creating and running humble spots like this – I love kitsch, and these places have India-kitsch down to a science - Nauga-hyde booths, and paint on velvet Indian art tacked up on the walls, and music that makes your teeth hurt even before the chili’s. Mom brings a candle to your table with water and roti, son takes the orders, and Dad or Uncle is tending the clay tandoor oven in the back. The dishes are what you would expect they serve guests in their home, and they are so happy to have you join them for dinner that you are almost embarrassed to be invading their space. Sure the chicken is dark meat and a little grisly, the pakora is a little oily – but it all tastes so good its hard to stop. I imagine this is how foreign tourist must feel about eating in an American diner…a cultural crossover - you are getting honest, local, proud, working class food.
And if you are lucky, like I was at Laadla, the food is so freaking hot it makes the bottoms of your feet sweat. I love these places. When you travel as much as I do – and you find yourself eating alone as much as I do – they are a friendly oasis in almost any town in virtually any country.
Every once in a few years of my Indian indigestion, I’ve run across a different sort of Indian themed restaurant. Simla Pink’s in Manchester (England…England – beyond the Atlantic Sea – there is a special OSG inspired tee-shirt headed to the first respondent who knows where that line comes from…) is one – omigod, I need an excuse to go back there. These folks took cool urban hip and infused it into curry. The result is tapas meets tika. One of the best ever. No velvet, no bollywood music, just awesome food. Please doesn’t somebody in Manchester need a visit from an OSG? Ah, but I digress…
My point in sharing all this nonsense is that I just tripped over another standout spot so good it warrants this much ink. Chutney’s Grill on 15th Avenue in Capital Hill of Seattle slams heat into Northwest/California cool. Lots of glass, ferns, brass, and no squeally anti-tonal Indi-musak. No dark meat. No grease. Just great food. Clean, lite, delicious non-gruelly. The Naan is butter free – toasty, fluffy, light and delicious. Vegetable samosas are hand-made, sweet, with a strong potato flavor. No greasy stain on the plate, no oil build up on the doily.
I almost always order Chicken Vindaloo in an Indian – creature of habit, I guess – but this time my new friend, Chutney owner Geogy Chacko recommended Tika Marsala instead (east coasters might know this as butter chicken). I was surprised to find chunks of roast, boneless, gristle-less, white meat swimming in a soft and delicious orange colored cream sauce. Hot, yeah, but so much more complex - with sweet, tomato, and vinegary-sour fighting for tongue-time. Delicious spooned on the light, fluffy, and colorfully spiced basmati – and I am embarrassed to say, just as good drenched on the left over Naan, and perhaps just as wonderful in licking the bowl if I had been in a slightly less visible table.
Don’t be fooled though – there are several Chutney’s in Seattle, Geogy and his partners built for our five before going their separate ways. Only Chutney’s Grill on the Hill is still owned and managed by Geogy and his family – I cannot speak for the rest of the now broken-up chain. But I can tell you that the folks at Chutney’s Grill have taken Indian food to a higher level – this is not the typical Indian equivalent of a ham and egger – it is an Indian spiced owner-chef fusion experience – yet it somehow maintains the unaffected home cooked personality that makes a hungry, lonely traveler look forward to returning.
Don’t tell Pam…but I can’t wait for my next trip…
Monday, January 14, 2008
Being right is over-rated
We went to St Johns over Christmas. Please don't go there. You'll hate it. The weather's terrible, lots of bugs, crowded, lousy beaches, nothing to do. Seriously, go somewhere else. Please.
Back some time ago I told you flash drives were going to kick in soon. Bunch of people laughed at me - dumb old storage geezer doesn't know what he's talking about. Too expensive, write performance is lousy, ya ya ya...
Well - I was right and they were wrong again.
I hate being right. It happens all the time - I knew ISLN stock was going to tank, figured somebody (ok, maybe not Dell) would buy EQ, coulda told you a couple of times there that NTAP was in trouble. Before you call the SEC...I don't have any insider trading info here, its just that when you have been watching one industry as long as I have... from the inside (not some catbird seat), you develop a gut sense that can only be ignored at your own peril.
What ticks me off about all this is that I never ever seem to have the you-know-what fortitude to put my money (like I have any...) where my brain is...
STEC stock bottomed out at around $6 last May when I started telling people that flash was going mainstream in enterprise arrays. Today - it topped out at $10 on the EMC announcement. 40%!!!
Woulda coulda shoulda...and I would be floating next to my friends Gary and Joan in Cruz Bay right now.
Back some time ago I told you flash drives were going to kick in soon. Bunch of people laughed at me - dumb old storage geezer doesn't know what he's talking about. Too expensive, write performance is lousy, ya ya ya...
Well - I was right and they were wrong again.
I hate being right. It happens all the time - I knew ISLN stock was going to tank, figured somebody (ok, maybe not Dell) would buy EQ, coulda told you a couple of times there that NTAP was in trouble. Before you call the SEC...I don't have any insider trading info here, its just that when you have been watching one industry as long as I have... from the inside (not some catbird seat), you develop a gut sense that can only be ignored at your own peril.
What ticks me off about all this is that I never ever seem to have the you-know-what fortitude to put my money (like I have any...) where my brain is...
STEC stock bottomed out at around $6 last May when I started telling people that flash was going mainstream in enterprise arrays. Today - it topped out at $10 on the EMC announcement. 40%!!!
Woulda coulda shoulda...and I would be floating next to my friends Gary and Joan in Cruz Bay right now.
Friday, November 2, 2007
What does buying a car have to do with Storage?
Pam and I have been trying to buy a car for 3 weeks – she has driven her GMC into the ground at 160,000 – never complained, never asked for anything, just kept driving it until the wheels just about fell off. Gotta love that girl.
I cannot remember ever having this much trouble buying anything in my life. The effort involved and the hassles we have been put through made me think about what we as an industry are doing to our poor defenseless storage buyers.
There are about 57 cars for sale in America that fall into the “little SUV that sorta looks like a station wagon but isn’t really a station wagon” category. It is almost impossible to tell them apart by looking at them – just like storage arrays. Comparing features is about as useful. Come to find out the every car in the class has AWD now (at least in New England) – just like every array has RAID. So that doesn’t help. They are all about the same size – just like arrays. They all have navigation systems – just like every storage device has a GUI. Airbags (dual power supplies) check. Anti-lock brakes (hot swap components) check. Long warranties (long warranties) check. Sunroofs (I am running out of similes here, but you get the point) check. So how are you supposed to decide?
Pam and I set out to test drive them (evaluation test). That helped narrow it down a little. Some were too soggy, or too trucky, or just too something and we took them off the list.
Another factor – which I suspect the storage industry has in spades as well – was the effect of the sales person on our interest in the car. The Mazda guy was kind of down at heels, a bit sloppy, and his hair (and handshake) was a bit greasy. When I told him we did not love the car, he started to close me anyway, “What would I have to do to put this deal together today?” I slithered out of the showroom feeling like I needed a shower. We were so disheartened by the experience we gave up looking for a week (until the fuel pump died on the old Yukon).
The Mercedes guy was wearing a $1000 suit, Allen Edmunds shoes, and a Rolex. He was the epitome of refinement and knowledge. He sized us up, and presented a no-nonsense rational perspective on his wares. I felt a bit intimidated, but he was very polite and put no pressure on us at all. We left feeling as if the M class was a reasonable, expensive, and not particularly exciting option.
We then found ourselves at a Cadillac dealer – actually Pammy has always wanted a Hummer and the same dealer sold both. I do not see us as Cadillac customers, but we liked the Cadillac SRX. Seemed to fit the general goals of the search, so we took it for a ride. The salesman was polite, answered our questions, showed off the features of the car well, and I actually liked it a lot. We then drove the Hummer for fun, but even Pam had to admit she felt silly in it.
We retreated again to the comfort of the auto repair shop, replaced the fuel pump, and bided our time. We decided to take a whole day – without kids – and devote it to getting this decision over and done. We drove the Automile (Rte 1 for those in Boston) where there are about 57 different dealers. We started at one end and finally collapsed at the other to watch the rest of the Patriots game in a bar. We went to the Pontiac/GMC dealer. The salesman was (I kid you not) wearing ripped jeans, a tee shirt, and old running shoes – which looked pretty silly on a 50 year bald guy. We drove the Acadia and the Enclave. Decided the Acadia was a fall back – hated the Enclave ride. Salesrep clearly did not give a hoot; do not think he even acknowledged us leaving the showroom (which was a filthy pit). GMC out.
Then, we stopped, almost as an afterthought at the Acura dealer. Acura does not really do much branding as far as I can see (or they missed reaching me as a target audience member). Honestly, I think we stopped because Pam needed to use the lady’s room. A guy wearing business casual clothes came up, handed me his card told me he was more than happy to answer any questions (Pam asked for the location of the head), and then silently disappeared. Whoosh, gone. I poked around the MDX in the showroom, and kind of liked what I saw. When Pam came back, she thought she liked it too. So we went looking for our silent friend – found him in the back eating an egg roll. He came out; whipping his hands, answered some questions, and clearly knew his stuff. Acura has its product-marketing act together. Oh yeah, they knew us and knew what we wanted. I have never felt so grok’ed in my life. The car comes in a base model – which includes all the stuff we (their target audience) would have wanted. You do not have to order the superdy, duper, premium luxury package, the driver convenience group, and the safety kit. It comes with everything. You have two choices – navigation system (more on that later), and electronic ride control. If you want nav, they figure you want all the other gizmos and they throw them in. If you want ride control, they figure you are sporty and they upgrade your wheels. That is it. Two questions to configure the system for our needs. Easy.
We went out for a ride, in a decked out MDX. Could not tell when the ride control was on or off so we eliminated that option. Salesman was cool – pointed out stuff, talked about fuel economy, engine size, big brakes, yadda, yadda. We liked it. Then he did something extraordinary – he sent us to look at the other cars in the category. “Lexus is right down the street. Go drive the RX. Make sure you drive the SRX again. Then if you want, stop back and we can go out again in the MDX. Handed us another business card, a folio, and pretty much kicked us out of the showroom. (Remember what I said about making them come to you!)
We went to the Lexus dealer – massive pompous building with 3 car washes (free for customers), a cappuccino bar, and a forest full of walnut paneling. I was uncomfortable and intimidated the minute I walked in – the girl at the front desk looked like a plant from the Ford Modeling Agency (remember what I said about too pretty). Her “Can I help you?” was cold and accusatory. Our response was apologetic, “Oh, sorry to bother you, we were hoping to look at an RX?” “Did you have an appointment?” (Seriously…). Finally, “I’ll see if anyone is free…”
Lost the sale before we took five steps into the building. I would not buy a Lexus from those a$$holes if it was the last mini-suv-that-doesn’t- really- look- like-a station-wagon on earth. Quick test drive with a newbie salesrep, quick exit. Lexus out.
Then, we stumbled into another Cadillac dealer – good gawd help us – this was a different dealer than the first experience with Caddy above. This time we got a former roofer turned Caddy salesman – ‘dems’ and ‘does’ to the max. He had a little flip pad and pencil in his hand and wrote down virtually everything we said – very unnerving. I told him we wanted a top of the line SRX with all the bells and whistles – to which he attempted to educate me. There are about 57 option packages to get a base SRX to the level of car we would have wanted. We were exhausted at that point and just could not follow the description of every bell and whistle that would need to be ordered separately. We went for another test drive – and the salesman asked us what else we were looking at – we honestly told him we liked the MDX. At which point, he did something pretty incredible when I think back on it. He started in on a pro-America jingoistic speech – about how we owed it to our country to buy American. I did not bother to argue, but looked over at Pam and winced. We drove into the dealership in an old Mercedes Benz; both our watches are from Switzerland. Our jeans (Wal-Mart) are from Vietnam. Shoes – Brazil I suppose. Talk about not groking your customer…. Cadillac Out
So we finally bought the MDX – which is reasonable, nice, well made, fairly priced, configured exactly as we wanted without any effort, and just fine thank you. But what a hassle.
Point is, are not we doing the same thing to storage customers every day. Not understanding them and their needs? Pretending to have what the other guys have just because the other guys say they have it? Trying to compete on nonsensical or even negative position points? Trying to shove square pegs into round holes? Is it any wonder that storage buyers are jaded and tired? I know Pam and I are…
I cannot remember ever having this much trouble buying anything in my life. The effort involved and the hassles we have been put through made me think about what we as an industry are doing to our poor defenseless storage buyers.
There are about 57 cars for sale in America that fall into the “little SUV that sorta looks like a station wagon but isn’t really a station wagon” category. It is almost impossible to tell them apart by looking at them – just like storage arrays. Comparing features is about as useful. Come to find out the every car in the class has AWD now (at least in New England) – just like every array has RAID. So that doesn’t help. They are all about the same size – just like arrays. They all have navigation systems – just like every storage device has a GUI. Airbags (dual power supplies) check. Anti-lock brakes (hot swap components) check. Long warranties (long warranties) check. Sunroofs (I am running out of similes here, but you get the point) check. So how are you supposed to decide?
Pam and I set out to test drive them (evaluation test). That helped narrow it down a little. Some were too soggy, or too trucky, or just too something and we took them off the list.
Another factor – which I suspect the storage industry has in spades as well – was the effect of the sales person on our interest in the car. The Mazda guy was kind of down at heels, a bit sloppy, and his hair (and handshake) was a bit greasy. When I told him we did not love the car, he started to close me anyway, “What would I have to do to put this deal together today?” I slithered out of the showroom feeling like I needed a shower. We were so disheartened by the experience we gave up looking for a week (until the fuel pump died on the old Yukon).
The Mercedes guy was wearing a $1000 suit, Allen Edmunds shoes, and a Rolex. He was the epitome of refinement and knowledge. He sized us up, and presented a no-nonsense rational perspective on his wares. I felt a bit intimidated, but he was very polite and put no pressure on us at all. We left feeling as if the M class was a reasonable, expensive, and not particularly exciting option.
We then found ourselves at a Cadillac dealer – actually Pammy has always wanted a Hummer and the same dealer sold both. I do not see us as Cadillac customers, but we liked the Cadillac SRX. Seemed to fit the general goals of the search, so we took it for a ride. The salesman was polite, answered our questions, showed off the features of the car well, and I actually liked it a lot. We then drove the Hummer for fun, but even Pam had to admit she felt silly in it.
We retreated again to the comfort of the auto repair shop, replaced the fuel pump, and bided our time. We decided to take a whole day – without kids – and devote it to getting this decision over and done. We drove the Automile (Rte 1 for those in Boston) where there are about 57 different dealers. We started at one end and finally collapsed at the other to watch the rest of the Patriots game in a bar. We went to the Pontiac/GMC dealer. The salesman was (I kid you not) wearing ripped jeans, a tee shirt, and old running shoes – which looked pretty silly on a 50 year bald guy. We drove the Acadia and the Enclave. Decided the Acadia was a fall back – hated the Enclave ride. Salesrep clearly did not give a hoot; do not think he even acknowledged us leaving the showroom (which was a filthy pit). GMC out.
Then, we stopped, almost as an afterthought at the Acura dealer. Acura does not really do much branding as far as I can see (or they missed reaching me as a target audience member). Honestly, I think we stopped because Pam needed to use the lady’s room. A guy wearing business casual clothes came up, handed me his card told me he was more than happy to answer any questions (Pam asked for the location of the head), and then silently disappeared. Whoosh, gone. I poked around the MDX in the showroom, and kind of liked what I saw. When Pam came back, she thought she liked it too. So we went looking for our silent friend – found him in the back eating an egg roll. He came out; whipping his hands, answered some questions, and clearly knew his stuff. Acura has its product-marketing act together. Oh yeah, they knew us and knew what we wanted. I have never felt so grok’ed in my life. The car comes in a base model – which includes all the stuff we (their target audience) would have wanted. You do not have to order the superdy, duper, premium luxury package, the driver convenience group, and the safety kit. It comes with everything. You have two choices – navigation system (more on that later), and electronic ride control. If you want nav, they figure you want all the other gizmos and they throw them in. If you want ride control, they figure you are sporty and they upgrade your wheels. That is it. Two questions to configure the system for our needs. Easy.
We went out for a ride, in a decked out MDX. Could not tell when the ride control was on or off so we eliminated that option. Salesman was cool – pointed out stuff, talked about fuel economy, engine size, big brakes, yadda, yadda. We liked it. Then he did something extraordinary – he sent us to look at the other cars in the category. “Lexus is right down the street. Go drive the RX. Make sure you drive the SRX again. Then if you want, stop back and we can go out again in the MDX. Handed us another business card, a folio, and pretty much kicked us out of the showroom. (Remember what I said about making them come to you!)
We went to the Lexus dealer – massive pompous building with 3 car washes (free for customers), a cappuccino bar, and a forest full of walnut paneling. I was uncomfortable and intimidated the minute I walked in – the girl at the front desk looked like a plant from the Ford Modeling Agency (remember what I said about too pretty). Her “Can I help you?” was cold and accusatory. Our response was apologetic, “Oh, sorry to bother you, we were hoping to look at an RX?” “Did you have an appointment?” (Seriously…). Finally, “I’ll see if anyone is free…”
Lost the sale before we took five steps into the building. I would not buy a Lexus from those a$$holes if it was the last mini-suv-that-doesn’t- really- look- like-a station-wagon on earth. Quick test drive with a newbie salesrep, quick exit. Lexus out.
Then, we stumbled into another Cadillac dealer – good gawd help us – this was a different dealer than the first experience with Caddy above. This time we got a former roofer turned Caddy salesman – ‘dems’ and ‘does’ to the max. He had a little flip pad and pencil in his hand and wrote down virtually everything we said – very unnerving. I told him we wanted a top of the line SRX with all the bells and whistles – to which he attempted to educate me. There are about 57 option packages to get a base SRX to the level of car we would have wanted. We were exhausted at that point and just could not follow the description of every bell and whistle that would need to be ordered separately. We went for another test drive – and the salesman asked us what else we were looking at – we honestly told him we liked the MDX. At which point, he did something pretty incredible when I think back on it. He started in on a pro-America jingoistic speech – about how we owed it to our country to buy American. I did not bother to argue, but looked over at Pam and winced. We drove into the dealership in an old Mercedes Benz; both our watches are from Switzerland. Our jeans (Wal-Mart) are from Vietnam. Shoes – Brazil I suppose. Talk about not groking your customer…. Cadillac Out
So we finally bought the MDX – which is reasonable, nice, well made, fairly priced, configured exactly as we wanted without any effort, and just fine thank you. But what a hassle.
Point is, are not we doing the same thing to storage customers every day. Not understanding them and their needs? Pretending to have what the other guys have just because the other guys say they have it? Trying to compete on nonsensical or even negative position points? Trying to shove square pegs into round holes? Is it any wonder that storage buyers are jaded and tired? I know Pam and I are…
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Test blog.
If you're reading storagesanity your now looking at the latest in on line blogging. I am writing this while driving. Typing on my treo while driving with my knee.
That's why they call me an accident waiting to happen.
Monday, October 8, 2007
A dozen dirty tricks for Trade Show success
Laugh all you want – point fingers – call me names. Have fun at my expense whippersnapper. BUT – and remember everything before the BUT is BS – I will always get more leads from any trade show than you.
For years, the ugly little secret among the trade show event organizers (who keep track of these things) is that me and my florescent shirts, the guy who pays nothing for his little 4x8’ booth space, with no banners, no sponsored lunches, no car giveaways, no nothing – always walks away from every trade show with more leads than anyone else - including the platinum sponsors.
I am the undisputed King of All Trade Shows. So much so, that show sponsors have begun staking out my booths to learn our secrets. At one recent show, someone set up a video camera to record us in action. Would have been easier if they just asked...
Here’s how we do it.
For years, the ugly little secret among the trade show event organizers (who keep track of these things) is that me and my florescent shirts, the guy who pays nothing for his little 4x8’ booth space, with no banners, no sponsored lunches, no car giveaways, no nothing – always walks away from every trade show with more leads than anyone else - including the platinum sponsors.
I am the undisputed King of All Trade Shows. So much so, that show sponsors have begun staking out my booths to learn our secrets. At one recent show, someone set up a video camera to record us in action. Would have been easier if they just asked...
Here’s how we do it.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Like no business, I know...things I will miss now that Storage Trade Shows are dead...
Steve Duplessie is probably right – storage trade shows are waning fast as a useful venue for finding potential customers. I think that frankly sucks. As everybody who has ever been blinded by a florescent trade show shirt knows… I love storage trade shows.
Speaking of Dupe – is it just me? Does he just “Louk Faabulus, Darlink”? All metro-sexy, trim, duded out with the Regis Philbin shirt and tie combo, the euro-buzz doo. I mean seriously for a guy with that many miles on him (naturally aged or otherwise) – he is lookin’ HOT!
That's it! I am getting a hair cut, going on a diet, and signing up for a Men's Wearhouse credit card...
Things will miss (besides Steve) when the last storage show dies…
- Hanging out at the fire pit, smoking cigars with the storage industry equivalent of big shots. If those gas jets and palm trees could talk, there would be a lot more millionaires and a lot more divorces in storage…
- The pain in my feet at the end of the day. I know shin splints are my friend.
- The breakfast buffet at Citron – that coffee rocks!
- The vibe at the BIG BAR at the Hyatt in Chicago when its so crowded you have to crab-walk side ways to squeeze past the dueling pot bellies of the storage analysts holding court under the glass wall of vodka bottles. Its fun to watch them try to eavesdrop on (while pretending to ignore) each other.
- Shooting the bull with the drunk and half-drunk storage vendors hanging on the handrails of the handicapped ramp outside the JW lobby bar – especially interesting after Red Sox games, which often seem to happen during Fall SNW. Any good drunk storage vendor worth her salt is a member of Red Sox Nation.
- Seeing what new and truly foolish shirts the foo foo men’s shop in the lobby of the JW is offering this season – and for me to say those shirts are foolish…well…
- Hotel Lobbies. So many hushed whispers, winks, hardy handshakes, backslaps and BS… I love the lobbies. The indoor waterfall (and the little boats) in Palm Springs. The birdcage in the lobby of the Renaissance in Orlando (why did we move from there?) The live parrots standing watch at the Hyatt in Orlando. The candles in the port a tier at the JW in Orlando. The eco-dome at the Gaylord in Orlando. The timeless elegance (and slightly tired seediness) of the St. Francis in SF. ( But - I won't miss the lobby of SNW in San Diego – that hotel may in fact be one of the reasons storage shows are going to hell in a hand basket…)
- Big iron. I was always impressed by the tractor trailers of equipment crammed into the tiny vendor exhibit area at Gartner Storage in Tucson – back in the day. Tape libraries you could walk into. Disk arrays built to withstand nuclear attack - big heavy boxes with hundreds of blue blinky lights – surrounded by throngs of stern, clean-cut, freshly graduated hockey players from catholic universities in the Northeast wearing their first Brooks Brother’s blue suits and red rep ties. Yes Virginia, those were the days.
- I will miss chatchkees. My tee shirts (of course), squishy balls, blinky lights, pins, a plethora of cheap pens, superballs, blinky superballs, blinky super ball pens, assorted fuzzy items, little radios, screwdrivers. A factory and a half in China is going out of business when we shutter the last storage trade show.
- Chocolate Chip Cookies. Need I say more?
Damn – I will miss storage trade shows, but I agree with Mr. Metro-Sexyman. It is over. There just is not that much interesting new stuff, not much ground breaking new storage technology being introduced lately. And, there are better ways to learn about the new stuff that is interesting than going to a trade show. Or - the sponsors (you know who you are) need to reinvent the genre. Shows need to be exciting - interesting - useful to attendee, with breaking news, industry changing outcomes. Shows can't be nice to have, they need to be must have. Thank goodness I am not in the business of untangling that hairball.
Boat shows are timeless - because people love to climb inside boats, but you can’t climb inside a tape library anymore – which is a freak’n, damn shame, because as sick as it is, I luv, luv, love! storage shows.
Speaking of Dupe – is it just me? Does he just “Louk Faabulus, Darlink”? All metro-sexy, trim, duded out with the Regis Philbin shirt and tie combo, the euro-buzz doo. I mean seriously for a guy with that many miles on him (naturally aged or otherwise) – he is lookin’ HOT!
That's it! I am getting a hair cut, going on a diet, and signing up for a Men's Wearhouse credit card...
Things will miss (besides Steve) when the last storage show dies…
- Hanging out at the fire pit, smoking cigars with the storage industry equivalent of big shots. If those gas jets and palm trees could talk, there would be a lot more millionaires and a lot more divorces in storage…
- The pain in my feet at the end of the day. I know shin splints are my friend.
- The breakfast buffet at Citron – that coffee rocks!
- The vibe at the BIG BAR at the Hyatt in Chicago when its so crowded you have to crab-walk side ways to squeeze past the dueling pot bellies of the storage analysts holding court under the glass wall of vodka bottles. Its fun to watch them try to eavesdrop on (while pretending to ignore) each other.
- Shooting the bull with the drunk and half-drunk storage vendors hanging on the handrails of the handicapped ramp outside the JW lobby bar – especially interesting after Red Sox games, which often seem to happen during Fall SNW. Any good drunk storage vendor worth her salt is a member of Red Sox Nation.
- Seeing what new and truly foolish shirts the foo foo men’s shop in the lobby of the JW is offering this season – and for me to say those shirts are foolish…well…
- Hotel Lobbies. So many hushed whispers, winks, hardy handshakes, backslaps and BS… I love the lobbies. The indoor waterfall (and the little boats) in Palm Springs. The birdcage in the lobby of the Renaissance in Orlando (why did we move from there?) The live parrots standing watch at the Hyatt in Orlando. The candles in the port a tier at the JW in Orlando. The eco-dome at the Gaylord in Orlando. The timeless elegance (and slightly tired seediness) of the St. Francis in SF. ( But - I won't miss the lobby of SNW in San Diego – that hotel may in fact be one of the reasons storage shows are going to hell in a hand basket…)
- Big iron. I was always impressed by the tractor trailers of equipment crammed into the tiny vendor exhibit area at Gartner Storage in Tucson – back in the day. Tape libraries you could walk into. Disk arrays built to withstand nuclear attack - big heavy boxes with hundreds of blue blinky lights – surrounded by throngs of stern, clean-cut, freshly graduated hockey players from catholic universities in the Northeast wearing their first Brooks Brother’s blue suits and red rep ties. Yes Virginia, those were the days.
- I will miss chatchkees. My tee shirts (of course), squishy balls, blinky lights, pins, a plethora of cheap pens, superballs, blinky superballs, blinky super ball pens, assorted fuzzy items, little radios, screwdrivers. A factory and a half in China is going out of business when we shutter the last storage trade show.
- Chocolate Chip Cookies. Need I say more?
Damn – I will miss storage trade shows, but I agree with Mr. Metro-Sexyman. It is over. There just is not that much interesting new stuff, not much ground breaking new storage technology being introduced lately. And, there are better ways to learn about the new stuff that is interesting than going to a trade show. Or - the sponsors (you know who you are) need to reinvent the genre. Shows need to be exciting - interesting - useful to attendee, with breaking news, industry changing outcomes. Shows can't be nice to have, they need to be must have. Thank goodness I am not in the business of untangling that hairball.
Boat shows are timeless - because people love to climb inside boats, but you can’t climb inside a tape library anymore – which is a freak’n, damn shame, because as sick as it is, I luv, luv, love! storage shows.
I'm Baaack
Ok – you already know why I dropped out off the blogosphere for the last couple of months
If you don’t – get a clue.
But – the dust is all settling nicely and I am back – with the vengeance of the avenged.
I appreciate the calls and comments from all of you who wanted the nasty ascerbic OSG back – well thanks, I was never gone, just posting up…
I have a lot to say – always did – but for now it won’t be directly related to any past, present, or future employer. Momma no raise no fool…
That said, let's rock…
If you don’t – get a clue.
But – the dust is all settling nicely and I am back – with the vengeance of the avenged.
I appreciate the calls and comments from all of you who wanted the nasty ascerbic OSG back – well thanks, I was never gone, just posting up…
I have a lot to say – always did – but for now it won’t be directly related to any past, present, or future employer. Momma no raise no fool…
That said, let's rock…
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Vacation - what vacation
Ok, ok...I'm back. Been a little busy this month, and had trouble finding time to blog...
Ah, heck...that's a lie...
The truth is that I promised to tell the Revivio story in July, and everytime I sit down to write I find myself getting lost trying to frame up 4 years in a few paragraphs. Here's another attempt.
So, what happened?
Well, first let's put this all in perspective.
In 2002 when I first met Mike Rowan, the words "continuous data protection" had never been used together in a sentence. No one had any idea what he - and later I - was talking about.
The idea - a highly efficient copy on write appliance - was novel. Two other startups - one in Canada and one in California - had rumbled around similar concepts without gaining any foothold. We were determined to break out and run with it.
Together, Mike and I not only coined the term, but we dual-handedly put CDP on the map - creating an entire market from scratch - and eventually developing significant economic value for a bunch of folks - us excluded.
We engineered and delivered to market the absolute best CDP technology ever created.
We sold large enterprise class systems to real customers for hundreds of thousands of dollars each -unfortunately just not enough of them.
By all accounts, Revivio's marketing communication was world-class - one of my competitors once called me the best marketing VP in storage. We one award after award for our skillful communication of CDP's value proposition. Our work was responsible for the generic understanding of CDP now pervasive in the storage market. We even had the audacity to kick start the SNIA CDP industry working group that instantly legitimized the space.
What we didn't realize when we started all this in 2002 is that we were 5 years ahead of our skis in terms of market acceptance.
Every customer who heard our story was mesmerized, they loved the story, agreed that the technology was killer and would offer an incredible value to them. No one said no...but few bought. It seemed there was always one project ahead of us in the priority queue. We blew through sales executives like water. Sure we had our unfair share of burnouts and losers, but the core issue was that the CDP market wasn't ready.
And, without a representative customer base, we couldn't get the feedback necessary to answer basic questions about packaging, price, feature priorities. Sure, we did market research - formal and informal, every form imaginable. The problem was that customers who had never seen CDP couldn't really tell us what they wanted or how they wanted it. They could only suppose how they would use it - and it was up to us to fill in the blanks.
Over time, it became clear that replication was going to be a critical requirement. Customers had replication budgets - they didn't have CDP budgets. But replication without some form of point in time recovery was virtually worthless. Eighteen months into it, we realized that if we put replication and CDP together we would have a killer offer.
But we had a problem. We had designed and engineering our product to meet the needs of enterprise customers - it was a highly available in-line device - and it was still buggy. We were working out the kinks in the basic product, and we did not have the engineering resources to create and add replication.
At that point a critical and ultimately fatal decision was made...
Ah, heck...that's a lie...
The truth is that I promised to tell the Revivio story in July, and everytime I sit down to write I find myself getting lost trying to frame up 4 years in a few paragraphs. Here's another attempt.
So, what happened?
Well, first let's put this all in perspective.
In 2002 when I first met Mike Rowan, the words "continuous data protection" had never been used together in a sentence. No one had any idea what he - and later I - was talking about.
The idea - a highly efficient copy on write appliance - was novel. Two other startups - one in Canada and one in California - had rumbled around similar concepts without gaining any foothold. We were determined to break out and run with it.
Together, Mike and I not only coined the term, but we dual-handedly put CDP on the map - creating an entire market from scratch - and eventually developing significant economic value for a bunch of folks - us excluded.
We engineered and delivered to market the absolute best CDP technology ever created.
We sold large enterprise class systems to real customers for hundreds of thousands of dollars each -unfortunately just not enough of them.
By all accounts, Revivio's marketing communication was world-class - one of my competitors once called me the best marketing VP in storage. We one award after award for our skillful communication of CDP's value proposition. Our work was responsible for the generic understanding of CDP now pervasive in the storage market. We even had the audacity to kick start the SNIA CDP industry working group that instantly legitimized the space.
What we didn't realize when we started all this in 2002 is that we were 5 years ahead of our skis in terms of market acceptance.
Every customer who heard our story was mesmerized, they loved the story, agreed that the technology was killer and would offer an incredible value to them. No one said no...but few bought. It seemed there was always one project ahead of us in the priority queue. We blew through sales executives like water. Sure we had our unfair share of burnouts and losers, but the core issue was that the CDP market wasn't ready.
And, without a representative customer base, we couldn't get the feedback necessary to answer basic questions about packaging, price, feature priorities. Sure, we did market research - formal and informal, every form imaginable. The problem was that customers who had never seen CDP couldn't really tell us what they wanted or how they wanted it. They could only suppose how they would use it - and it was up to us to fill in the blanks.
Over time, it became clear that replication was going to be a critical requirement. Customers had replication budgets - they didn't have CDP budgets. But replication without some form of point in time recovery was virtually worthless. Eighteen months into it, we realized that if we put replication and CDP together we would have a killer offer.
But we had a problem. We had designed and engineering our product to meet the needs of enterprise customers - it was a highly available in-line device - and it was still buggy. We were working out the kinks in the basic product, and we did not have the engineering resources to create and add replication.
At that point a critical and ultimately fatal decision was made...
Friday, June 15, 2007
Bigco likes me better...so I'm better...
When Bigco partners with startup, it is not always quite what it seems.
One might assume (making an ASS out of U and ME) that just because super-big company, market leader, chooses to partner with a startup that the startup must have good stuff. Funny that.
We might suppose that Datacore had the best off controller block virtualization technology in the business when both IBM and HDS chose to partner with them. Ah...but then maybe not....
I can't make the arguement for or against at this point. I honestly don't remember who had what back in 200x dark30 when the deals were done. I do know that a bunch of companies had similar stuff - some still do - Falconstor, StorAge, StorageApps, etc. My point isn't which was better then - who knows, who cares now. The point is that in chosing Datacore - neither HDS nor IBM was necessarily chosing the best technology.
What?
Think about it like this - startups are disruptive by nature. Their technology is intended specificially to attack a weakness in the established Bigco offering. Per se, if Bigco was doing a great job, Startup would not exist.
When Startup rudely and loudly announces its product an inexorable process begins. This happens with such routine frequency that its actually predictable (and somewhat boring) to those of us to who live in this world.
1) Bigco resists - makes a good case for why its offering is ok
2) A few customers buy from Startup, Bigco starts making noise about Startup being a startup (oooohhhh, scary scary....)
3) When that doesn't work anymore - if customers are continuing to buy from Startup -Bigco makes noise about how this new technology is immature and while interesting, not ready for prime time
4) Bigco partners with one of the startups (while promising its big customers it is building the 'good stuff' itself)
5) Bigco either buys Startup or dumps Startup and launches own product based on 'good stuff'.
Let's dig into #4 a bit.
Why does Bigco partner? Because they have had an epiphany and now "get it" and see the disruption as inevitable and decide to get a leg up on their competitors by fulfilling customer demand for the new disruptive technology by reselling the great new technology?
Ah, that would be a NO...
Bigco partners to buy time. To paper over the gap in their offering while they figure out whether it is a permanent gap or a temporary roadbump. Bigco is not happy about disruption. Bigco is pissed off.
So...ask yourself - if you are Bigco, and you are pissed off, and you just want the problem to go away, or you just want to buy some time - do you really want to partner with the best of the disruptors? Do you really want to bring a strong new disruptive technology to your customers?
Or, is your real motive to make a public statement, have a defensible public position, send a message that sure looks like you "get it" without actually putting your core business at risk?
Hmmm...
So maybe you do the ultimate head fake instead. Maybe you partner with a weak sister in the disruptive space, one you can control and manipulate? Maybe you use your Bigco marketing strength to falsely promote the weaker technology, slowing down adoption, attempting to cut off the air hose of the stronger (and more dangerous) startup that you are really worried about. If you are really an evil Machiavellian, maybe your plan is to drive the stronger startup out of business so you can pick up the strong technology at a firesale price? Or buy time until you can figure out how to build something good enough yourself.
Ultimately, it comes down to Bigco's corporate culture, and that ultimately comes down to Bigco's core values. And that, Kids, I ain't touching with a ten foot pole.
Either and anyway...the fact that Bigco partnered with (or didn't partner with) StartupX tells you more than might think - to sort it out, look under the covers at Bigco's motivation, history, reputation, and style.
PS - occassionally - very occassionally -Startup kicks Bigco's ass. Customers love Startup, several Bigco's realize they need Startup technology for something or other, Startup gets traction. If lucky, Startup IPOs.
PPS - If this happens, Bigco gets really, really, really pissed. Bigco CEO might even hyperventalate during an analyst earnings call and make an ass of himself without U and ME...
One might assume (making an ASS out of U and ME) that just because super-big company, market leader, chooses to partner with a startup that the startup must have good stuff. Funny that.
We might suppose that Datacore had the best off controller block virtualization technology in the business when both IBM and HDS chose to partner with them. Ah...but then maybe not....
I can't make the arguement for or against at this point. I honestly don't remember who had what back in 200x dark30 when the deals were done. I do know that a bunch of companies had similar stuff - some still do - Falconstor, StorAge, StorageApps, etc. My point isn't which was better then - who knows, who cares now. The point is that in chosing Datacore - neither HDS nor IBM was necessarily chosing the best technology.
What?
Think about it like this - startups are disruptive by nature. Their technology is intended specificially to attack a weakness in the established Bigco offering. Per se, if Bigco was doing a great job, Startup would not exist.
When Startup rudely and loudly announces its product an inexorable process begins. This happens with such routine frequency that its actually predictable (and somewhat boring) to those of us to who live in this world.
1) Bigco resists - makes a good case for why its offering is ok
2) A few customers buy from Startup, Bigco starts making noise about Startup being a startup (oooohhhh, scary scary....)
3) When that doesn't work anymore - if customers are continuing to buy from Startup -Bigco makes noise about how this new technology is immature and while interesting, not ready for prime time
4) Bigco partners with one of the startups (while promising its big customers it is building the 'good stuff' itself)
5) Bigco either buys Startup or dumps Startup and launches own product based on 'good stuff'.
Let's dig into #4 a bit.
Why does Bigco partner? Because they have had an epiphany and now "get it" and see the disruption as inevitable and decide to get a leg up on their competitors by fulfilling customer demand for the new disruptive technology by reselling the great new technology?
Ah, that would be a NO...
Bigco partners to buy time. To paper over the gap in their offering while they figure out whether it is a permanent gap or a temporary roadbump. Bigco is not happy about disruption. Bigco is pissed off.
So...ask yourself - if you are Bigco, and you are pissed off, and you just want the problem to go away, or you just want to buy some time - do you really want to partner with the best of the disruptors? Do you really want to bring a strong new disruptive technology to your customers?
Or, is your real motive to make a public statement, have a defensible public position, send a message that sure looks like you "get it" without actually putting your core business at risk?
Hmmm...
So maybe you do the ultimate head fake instead. Maybe you partner with a weak sister in the disruptive space, one you can control and manipulate? Maybe you use your Bigco marketing strength to falsely promote the weaker technology, slowing down adoption, attempting to cut off the air hose of the stronger (and more dangerous) startup that you are really worried about. If you are really an evil Machiavellian, maybe your plan is to drive the stronger startup out of business so you can pick up the strong technology at a firesale price? Or buy time until you can figure out how to build something good enough yourself.
Ultimately, it comes down to Bigco's corporate culture, and that ultimately comes down to Bigco's core values. And that, Kids, I ain't touching with a ten foot pole.
Either and anyway...the fact that Bigco partnered with (or didn't partner with) StartupX tells you more than might think - to sort it out, look under the covers at Bigco's motivation, history, reputation, and style.
PS - occassionally - very occassionally -Startup kicks Bigco's ass. Customers love Startup, several Bigco's realize they need Startup technology for something or other, Startup gets traction. If lucky, Startup IPOs.
PPS - If this happens, Bigco gets really, really, really pissed. Bigco CEO might even hyperventalate during an analyst earnings call and make an ass of himself without U and ME...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Speaking of great marketing
I can't resist sharing this - the best #$%^-ing viral marketing project I have ever seen. By this time tomorrow every desktop in the US and half in ROW will have seen this.
I am ashamed to call myself a marketing expert - I am a marketing wannabe in comparison to the team at Bud who made this...perfect segmentation, perfect message, perfect execution....and just painfully funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaswudWsIhU
Guys - when you get fired for this, call me. I will find you jobs. You rock.
I am ashamed to call myself a marketing expert - I am a marketing wannabe in comparison to the team at Bud who made this...perfect segmentation, perfect message, perfect execution....and just painfully funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaswudWsIhU
Guys - when you get fired for this, call me. I will find you jobs. You rock.
Mommy! Mommy! Ziya stole my cheese! Make him give it back!
Great stuff from Mellor and Pearson (and an especially En-Borged Tick) this week on who ripped of whom.
I gotta laugh and shudder at the same time.
I learned my lesson about accusing BigCo of ripping off ideas the WAY hard way. It was years ago, but I am still not talking.
Lawyers? Kids...it ain't the lawyers that you need to worry about when you start pokin' that stick in that eye...
(Really, I promise, never again...I was only kidding...OpenWide? all yours...really? those 200 visits from your engineering team? hell, we were just talking about the weather...really...any semblance of resemblance? totally just a little co-ink-ee-dink....totally...I swear on my mother's grave! you never even took a cup of coffee with asking please...it was all yours...I swear...please...I have kids, a wife...)
But the good folks at IBM are nice (see?) and HDS is gentlemanly (gentlepeoplely?), so there is no need for personal bodyguards down there in Fort Lauderdale...just yet. But, honestly, Geo and Co, baaaaddddd idea. really. really. bad. trust me on this...
That's the shudder.
The funny is that Datacore rose a phoenix from the ashes of Encore – very similar block virtualization technology concepts and almost the same core engineering team – same Fort Lauderdale location, same naming convention. One real difference is that Encore had tried to sell the virtualization technology as a big honking hardware box with its own disks and failed.
Encore was sold to SUN for around $150M in the mid 90s. (I wanted to buy it at DEC, but we could only come up with a justification for $30m) Sun tried to sell the big honking box – the 7000 series? – but failed, so it turned out a good thing we didn't buy it after all...
What a twisted tail-eating snake! – the original Encore virtualization ideas (from Ziya, et al) were sold to Sun and lost or buried there, independently reborn again as software (from Ziya, et al) at Datacore, used by HDS as a model (not reverse engineered or stolen, but more likely modeled and learned from) to create products which HDS now OEMs back to SUN…
Now if we could just get HP to OEM SVC from IBM it might cause a breech in the matter/anti-matter quantum barrier field reversing the time/energy continuum flow, and maybe even slow down global warming...
Gawd, I love the storage business….
I gotta laugh and shudder at the same time.
I learned my lesson about accusing BigCo of ripping off ideas the WAY hard way. It was years ago, but I am still not talking.
Lawyers? Kids...it ain't the lawyers that you need to worry about when you start pokin' that stick in that eye...
(Really, I promise, never again...I was only kidding...OpenWide? all yours...really? those 200 visits from your engineering team? hell, we were just talking about the weather...really...any semblance of resemblance? totally just a little co-ink-ee-dink....totally...I swear on my mother's grave! you never even took a cup of coffee with asking please...it was all yours...I swear...please...I have kids, a wife...)
But the good folks at IBM are nice (see?) and HDS is gentlemanly (gentlepeoplely?), so there is no need for personal bodyguards down there in Fort Lauderdale...just yet. But, honestly, Geo and Co, baaaaddddd idea. really. really. bad. trust me on this...
That's the shudder.
The funny is that Datacore rose a phoenix from the ashes of Encore – very similar block virtualization technology concepts and almost the same core engineering team – same Fort Lauderdale location, same naming convention. One real difference is that Encore had tried to sell the virtualization technology as a big honking hardware box with its own disks and failed.
Encore was sold to SUN for around $150M in the mid 90s. (I wanted to buy it at DEC, but we could only come up with a justification for $30m) Sun tried to sell the big honking box – the 7000 series? – but failed, so it turned out a good thing we didn't buy it after all...
What a twisted tail-eating snake! – the original Encore virtualization ideas (from Ziya, et al) were sold to Sun and lost or buried there, independently reborn again as software (from Ziya, et al) at Datacore, used by HDS as a model (not reverse engineered or stolen, but more likely modeled and learned from) to create products which HDS now OEMs back to SUN…
Now if we could just get HP to OEM SVC from IBM it might cause a breech in the matter/anti-matter quantum barrier field reversing the time/energy continuum flow, and maybe even slow down global warming...
Gawd, I love the storage business….
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Even worse than I predicted...
The rash of "mine is bigger than yours" claims actually gave me a rash this week...I eventually lost track of who supposedly sold more of what to whom and who said they did.
The Sanity bottom line - good for Grandpa - so you shook 'em up a little...what the hey, at least they will remember you are in the hunt.
We were treated to another yuckle this week. Which set off the smarm alarm. No surprise.
Maybe I should just read some Dickens and forget about all this Storage Sanity stuff...
Anyway - here goes.
Rule #1 - don't lecture a lecturer...especially...good heavens, not on the subject of storage marketing...
Those that nurse at the corporate troth for decades, do so because they never venture out of sight of that corporate troth, and they've learned to strategically dive under their desk whenever change, or its cousin risk of change, walks by. People who create change, create opportunities, and opportunities create turmoil.
Those of us lucky enough to have them, proudly wear the shank scars from being stabbed in our backs by trothsuckers. It's exactly because we've pushed the limits, because we know that every day is a new game, because we've risked it all and survived, that we have the perspective to see that the Emperor occasionally really does have no clothes, and we've proven occasionally to have had the courage to point out a better way.
The Sanity bottom line - good for Grandpa - so you shook 'em up a little...what the hey, at least they will remember you are in the hunt.
We were treated to another yuckle this week. Which set off the smarm alarm. No surprise.
Maybe I should just read some Dickens and forget about all this Storage Sanity stuff...
Anyway - here goes.
Rule #1 - don't lecture a lecturer...especially...good heavens, not on the subject of storage marketing...
Those that nurse at the corporate troth for decades, do so because they never venture out of sight of that corporate troth, and they've learned to strategically dive under their desk whenever change, or its cousin risk of change, walks by. People who create change, create opportunities, and opportunities create turmoil.
Those of us lucky enough to have them, proudly wear the shank scars from being stabbed in our backs by trothsuckers. It's exactly because we've pushed the limits, because we know that every day is a new game, because we've risked it all and survived, that we have the perspective to see that the Emperor occasionally really does have no clothes, and we've proven occasionally to have had the courage to point out a better way.
Professor Kirby's alternate take on recent events:
- any press that creates controversy about whether or not you are number one in a market is good press. Period.
- the storage press corps have a pretty short memory, especially for cornball antics. This is not a smack at their intelligence at all, its an acknowledgement of the pressure they are under to absorb an avalanche of BS coming at them every day from a hundred or so storage vendors, cull anything remotely interesting out of it, and get it out to the readers - every day. Keeping a running tab of over the top announcements in the process? hmmm...not likely. I'm confident the next time grandpa has something interesting to say, they will cover it fairly.
- every company in the business announces new product in the spring and the fall - product announcements are compressed around a few storage shows - Storage Decisions and SNW mostly. Why? I have no idea. We in the trade call Fall, the back to school season. You can't go back to school without a shiny new lunchbox. Spring? I dunno, been that way for 20 odd years. Used to be Gartner Storage Conference that drove it - before corporate hubris imploded that show. Anyway - almost all storage related products are announced within a few week time line in the Spring and Fall -every year.
Honestly, public product announcements are an afterthought in this business nowadays. The success of a new product has little if anything to do with the press attention or web hits on announcement week. Adjusting announcement timing due to a (bigger or smaller) competitor? Not...
- When a customer is willing (finally) to let you do a press release...it's news, baby. In today's age, it is like pulling teeth to get press approval. Speaking of the press - there is only one thing that really gets the press interested - and that's customer stories. All the rest is over-the-top breathless hype. So, the next time you read that a customer (a real customer, not the CEO's cousin's brother's Tailor, or a Community College) is happy with a product - especially a startup's product - put the news into perspective. It proves the company has a decent product, has figured out how to sell it to someone, it pretty much worked as promised, and the company's service wasn't embarrassing. That - kids - is a huge step forward for a company just starting out. Sure - it means less when BigCo announces its 3zillionth customer. duh.
- passion and speed are the domain and only defense of the startup. Change agents cannot be unclear or dispassionate on technology vision, wishy washy on execution, publicly accepting of the competition. Their cause is evangelism, plain and simple.
- don't insult the industry analysts. Do not infer that they are not fair and balanced. This is dumber than insulting the intelligence of the press. (I do break this rule sometimes because I become overly passionate and the devil has his way with me, but we are not all sinners in our own way?)
- positioning is as positioning does. In the US, at least, customers want to know, and ask specifically why you are better than the competition. Honesty with attitude is the only thing that works. If you get caught lying - and I have had this happen to competitors of mine - reasonable customers will likely cut you out of the deal. To win, you have to be upfront. You have to cut as deep and straight as you can with as sharp a knife as you can get. When you go for the jugular, don't miss. This problem of not being squeeky clean is in my experience much more prevalent in Bigco.
- and finally, what if the hokey-pokey is really what it's all about?
(it's the rash...really)
Thursday, June 7, 2007
I told you so...again...
Here it comes. Mine's bigger than yours. Mommy likes me better. It's not FAIR!!!
Chris Mellor - who is in the top rungs of my "professional storage press who actually know what they are writing about" list - reports today on the marketing ironies of who's claiming to be first in storage. Chris correctly points out that EMC is by far the market leader in external disk systems. While HP is claiming it's number one in total disk revenue. I am fully expecting a press release from Dot Hill any moment claiming it is the market leader in disks powered by 42vdc uninteruptable power supplies...
Boys and Girls, the market leader in disk is Seagate, period. Everyone else is "vending tin" as my friend who runs storage for one of the largest banks in the world says. To my mind, the measure of the market is who is ultimately pulling home the purchase order - not who supplies what to whom.
And Kids - with all due respect to IDC and Gartner(Dataquest) - there is no big magic eye in the storage sky counting every system shipped and tallying every invoice. Each analyst firm has, or claims to have, a proprietary methodology for determining market share.
Let me open that can of worms and let a little light in there.
In the 1990s, I ran the world wide marketing organization for the 'then' market leader in storage. Back then - before dirt - the proprietary methodology of the market reporting analyst firms was to call a guy I will call Kris (actually I can't remember his real name, which is probably safer for both of us anyway) who worked in my organization. Kris would whisper some revenue numbers to his friend at the analyst firm, who in turn would machinate predictions, apply theories, and ultimately report that we had sold about what Kris had told him.
I didn't invent this process, I inherited it. Kris had worked for the company for 20 years, presumably leaking similar information to similar analysts for most of that time. Of course, I didn't officially know about this leak - didn't condone it and would claim Mad Cow now if forced to testify anyway - besides it was way, way, way before SOX, the company doesn't exist anymore, and I am pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out - but I betcha a donut that somewhere, somehow it's still pretty much the same process, albeit much more detailed, complex, and electronic.
I'm confident the industry analysts ask channel partners for revenue numbers, count trucks leaving the vendor factories, talk to customer purchasing agents, dive in garbage cans, dissemble financial statements...and then ultimately make a bunch of phone calls to a bunch of Kris's...and punt.
Given all that effort, they may actually be sorta kinda directionally correct - but within a few percentage points? Kids...get real.
And, the nonsense about HDS hardware being sold by HP and Sun, and EMC being sold by Dell?? Nothing's changed there. We aren't interested in who sells the most disks - I already told you...it's Seagate. We want to know who is gaining traction with the customer as the go to "trusted advisor" for storage related purchases. That relationship is where the money is, not in who sold how many tons of tin this year.
The interesting thing - and beleive me I am not an IBM cheerleader as much as this blog is beginning to sound like it - is that after getting the storage business ripped out from under them 15 years ago by EMC, IBM is crawling back on top as that trusted advisor for all (many) things storage.
Beleive it or no, my take is that HP is second in this holistic (and I think pragmatic) view of market leadership.
Sun reminds me of a smart kid with ADD - something I know a little bit about - it has all the ingredients, everybody seems to like it, all the teachers and coaches want it to succeed...because it has great promise...we all know it could make it...IF IT WOULD JUST APPLY ITSELF!!!
And, yes, I agree EMC still sells a bunch of disk systems.
But, I'll know for sure if I can just find Kris' phone number...it's gotta be around here somewhere...
Chris Mellor - who is in the top rungs of my "professional storage press who actually know what they are writing about" list - reports today on the marketing ironies of who's claiming to be first in storage. Chris correctly points out that EMC is by far the market leader in external disk systems. While HP is claiming it's number one in total disk revenue. I am fully expecting a press release from Dot Hill any moment claiming it is the market leader in disks powered by 42vdc uninteruptable power supplies...
Boys and Girls, the market leader in disk is Seagate, period. Everyone else is "vending tin" as my friend who runs storage for one of the largest banks in the world says. To my mind, the measure of the market is who is ultimately pulling home the purchase order - not who supplies what to whom.
And Kids - with all due respect to IDC and Gartner(Dataquest) - there is no big magic eye in the storage sky counting every system shipped and tallying every invoice. Each analyst firm has, or claims to have, a proprietary methodology for determining market share.
Let me open that can of worms and let a little light in there.
In the 1990s, I ran the world wide marketing organization for the 'then' market leader in storage. Back then - before dirt - the proprietary methodology of the market reporting analyst firms was to call a guy I will call Kris (actually I can't remember his real name, which is probably safer for both of us anyway) who worked in my organization. Kris would whisper some revenue numbers to his friend at the analyst firm, who in turn would machinate predictions, apply theories, and ultimately report that we had sold about what Kris had told him.
I didn't invent this process, I inherited it. Kris had worked for the company for 20 years, presumably leaking similar information to similar analysts for most of that time. Of course, I didn't officially know about this leak - didn't condone it and would claim Mad Cow now if forced to testify anyway - besides it was way, way, way before SOX, the company doesn't exist anymore, and I am pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out - but I betcha a donut that somewhere, somehow it's still pretty much the same process, albeit much more detailed, complex, and electronic.
I'm confident the industry analysts ask channel partners for revenue numbers, count trucks leaving the vendor factories, talk to customer purchasing agents, dive in garbage cans, dissemble financial statements...and then ultimately make a bunch of phone calls to a bunch of Kris's...and punt.
Given all that effort, they may actually be sorta kinda directionally correct - but within a few percentage points? Kids...get real.
And, the nonsense about HDS hardware being sold by HP and Sun, and EMC being sold by Dell?? Nothing's changed there. We aren't interested in who sells the most disks - I already told you...it's Seagate. We want to know who is gaining traction with the customer as the go to "trusted advisor" for storage related purchases. That relationship is where the money is, not in who sold how many tons of tin this year.
The interesting thing - and beleive me I am not an IBM cheerleader as much as this blog is beginning to sound like it - is that after getting the storage business ripped out from under them 15 years ago by EMC, IBM is crawling back on top as that trusted advisor for all (many) things storage.
Beleive it or no, my take is that HP is second in this holistic (and I think pragmatic) view of market leadership.
Sun reminds me of a smart kid with ADD - something I know a little bit about - it has all the ingredients, everybody seems to like it, all the teachers and coaches want it to succeed...because it has great promise...we all know it could make it...IF IT WOULD JUST APPLY ITSELF!!!
And, yes, I agree EMC still sells a bunch of disk systems.
But, I'll know for sure if I can just find Kris' phone number...it's gotta be around here somewhere...
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
See...nice works
Congrats to IBM for taking the lead in storage hardware sales. I bet the IDC results even caught them by surprise...
Lots of poo-pooing (again, with the poo-poo word?) will occur this week. The competitors will discount the findings - oh, well, we don't care about tape anyway so its not fair...they are taking credit for our NAS systems so its not fair...they don't make their own arrays so its not fair...
Uuuugh! I am so glad I am not in the marketing departments of the losers today.
The truth is that IBM can still sell tape - they know how to milk a laggard market segment like nobody's business. They have a strong virtualization story. They are leveraging the heck out of their NTAP and LSI relationships. They know how to deliver services. Bloody good for bloody them. Way to kick some disk, blue!
HP was rudderless for most of 2006 - a cynic might argue, much longer than that...(Good luck turning the battleship, Dave, we are rooting for you!!)
Sun dropped the STK tape lead balloon on its own toe...ADIC disappeared...
You all know the environmentals.
Meanwhile , IBM is like a big vacuum cleaner, sucking up business around the world, by making storage simple, and being nice.
I'm sure honestly, that nice really did have a lot to do with it. Wouldn't you rather buy your storage from nice, clean, well-dressed, seemingly honest people, who earnestly are trying to help you?
A sure sign of my OSG-ness is that I am losing my edge for absolute lowest price in everything. I used to work for hours on the internet to get the best price on every little thing - until I realized somewhere along the OSG line that the time and effort spent searching for the lowest price - and the risk I was taking buying from Joe's Cheepo Hifi.com wasn't worth the time away from other more interesting and useful pursuits - like writing a blog for instance. So, now I look for value - as measured by low-risk, ease of access, pleasurable transaction, and quality product/service.
My OSG take is that the storage industry is maturing too - just like us OSGers in it.
Storage customers want solutions to business problems - like unrelenting data growth, and spiraling management costs. Sure, they want the coolest, best technology in their storage infrastructure - just like I want the coolest, best technology in my boy-toys (er..old man toys).
But...(remember the BUT)...the numbers don't lie - customers are voting with their wallets and clearly are buying simple stuff that works from nice people who want to make them happy...
Lots of poo-pooing (again, with the poo-poo word?) will occur this week. The competitors will discount the findings - oh, well, we don't care about tape anyway so its not fair...they are taking credit for our NAS systems so its not fair...they don't make their own arrays so its not fair...
Uuuugh! I am so glad I am not in the marketing departments of the losers today.
The truth is that IBM can still sell tape - they know how to milk a laggard market segment like nobody's business. They have a strong virtualization story. They are leveraging the heck out of their NTAP and LSI relationships. They know how to deliver services. Bloody good for bloody them. Way to kick some disk, blue!
HP was rudderless for most of 2006 - a cynic might argue, much longer than that...(Good luck turning the battleship, Dave, we are rooting for you!!)
Sun dropped the STK tape lead balloon on its own toe...ADIC disappeared...
You all know the environmentals.
Meanwhile , IBM is like a big vacuum cleaner, sucking up business around the world, by making storage simple, and being nice.
I'm sure honestly, that nice really did have a lot to do with it. Wouldn't you rather buy your storage from nice, clean, well-dressed, seemingly honest people, who earnestly are trying to help you?
A sure sign of my OSG-ness is that I am losing my edge for absolute lowest price in everything. I used to work for hours on the internet to get the best price on every little thing - until I realized somewhere along the OSG line that the time and effort spent searching for the lowest price - and the risk I was taking buying from Joe's Cheepo Hifi.com wasn't worth the time away from other more interesting and useful pursuits - like writing a blog for instance. So, now I look for value - as measured by low-risk, ease of access, pleasurable transaction, and quality product/service.
My OSG take is that the storage industry is maturing too - just like us OSGers in it.
Storage customers want solutions to business problems - like unrelenting data growth, and spiraling management costs. Sure, they want the coolest, best technology in their storage infrastructure - just like I want the coolest, best technology in my boy-toys (er..old man toys).
But...(remember the BUT)...the numbers don't lie - customers are voting with their wallets and clearly are buying simple stuff that works from nice people who want to make them happy...
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Smarm at work
People have been asking me exactly what I mean by smarm.
Dictionary.Com has:
smarm(y)
adjective
unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; "buttery praise"; "gave him a fulsome introduction"; "an oily sycophantic press agent"; "oleaginous hypocrisy"; "smarmy self-importance"; "the unctuous Uriah Heep"; "soapy compliments"
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.
Here's an example of how insidious smarm can become in the blog-hands of a corporate marketing department:
In my role as chief OSG cynic, let me point out the obvious. Despite what it says or writes to the contrary, tiering is bad for the storaborg. Tiering reduces the amount of data stored on expensive disk. Tiering helps reduce the cost of keeping up with storage growth. Tiering lets competitors in the door. Tiering slows the encroachment of storage related expenses into the overall IT budget - which is now hovering around 24%. Tiering is bad for the storaborg. Period.
Ah, but you can't just take out an advertisement and say 'tiering is baaaad, don't do it', can you? See, tiering is exciting to customers. Tiering is technically good for customers. If we say it's bad, we look...ah...bad. hmmm....what to do?
Ha! I got it boss! (says bushy tailed storaborg marketing manager) Yuck Shamelis unctuously declares that tiering is good in our corpoblog! You must tier! The benefits are huge! Hell...he's been telling people for years..!
But...but...and here, boss, is where we are really clever...we (snicker)...we have Yuck make it seem hard...see? Complicated. Requires storage guys to talk to multiple layers of business users to evaluate the value of everyone's data. (those poor little storage guys hate to talk to business guys, boss)
I know...we..I mean Yuck.. can call tiering the Aztec Calendar of Storage! Nothing's more complicated than the Azetec Calendar! Sure on the surface it sounds good - get the users and storage guys talking - but all the storage guys will see is Months, maybe Years of work. Millions and Millions!
Yee hee - this is brilliant! Who can argue with us?
Wait! Even better...we (I mean he) makes it sound like the customers are telling Yuck that THEY think implementing tiering needs to be complicated - he'll just be reporting what they are telling him. Brilliant! Can't argue with the customer, after all... heh heh...
Then we...er, sorry, he...bamboozles them by listing a bunch of complicated expensive products they'll need to buy (from us) to get started...and put a fork in her, she's done! It'll scare the bejeesus right out of 'em!
Hey, if we get enough people to beleive it's true...it will become true. I bet we can hold off the onslaught of tiering at least a couple more years before people catch on...
Ah...catch on to what, boss? Ah..well..er...to the fact that tiering doesn't have to be complicated, the fact that business users don't even have to know it's going on, that fact that it can be implemented in minutes by the poor little storage guys...you know, boss...the...ah...truth...boss.
Boss? boss? you ok? Boss...?
Dictionary.Com has:
smarm(y)
adjective
unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; "buttery praise"; "gave him a fulsome introduction"; "an oily sycophantic press agent"; "oleaginous hypocrisy"; "smarmy self-importance"; "the unctuous Uriah Heep"; "soapy compliments"
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.
Here's an example of how insidious smarm can become in the blog-hands of a corporate marketing department:
In my role as chief OSG cynic, let me point out the obvious. Despite what it says or writes to the contrary, tiering is bad for the storaborg. Tiering reduces the amount of data stored on expensive disk. Tiering helps reduce the cost of keeping up with storage growth. Tiering lets competitors in the door. Tiering slows the encroachment of storage related expenses into the overall IT budget - which is now hovering around 24%. Tiering is bad for the storaborg. Period.
Ah, but you can't just take out an advertisement and say 'tiering is baaaad, don't do it', can you? See, tiering is exciting to customers. Tiering is technically good for customers. If we say it's bad, we look...ah...bad. hmmm....what to do?
Ha! I got it boss! (says bushy tailed storaborg marketing manager) Yuck Shamelis unctuously declares that tiering is good in our corpoblog! You must tier! The benefits are huge! Hell...he's been telling people for years..!
But...but...and here, boss, is where we are really clever...we (snicker)...we have Yuck make it seem hard...see? Complicated. Requires storage guys to talk to multiple layers of business users to evaluate the value of everyone's data. (those poor little storage guys hate to talk to business guys, boss)
I know...we..I mean Yuck.. can call tiering the Aztec Calendar of Storage! Nothing's more complicated than the Azetec Calendar! Sure on the surface it sounds good - get the users and storage guys talking - but all the storage guys will see is Months, maybe Years of work. Millions and Millions!
Yee hee - this is brilliant! Who can argue with us?
Wait! Even better...we (I mean he) makes it sound like the customers are telling Yuck that THEY think implementing tiering needs to be complicated - he'll just be reporting what they are telling him. Brilliant! Can't argue with the customer, after all... heh heh...
Then we...er, sorry, he...bamboozles them by listing a bunch of complicated expensive products they'll need to buy (from us) to get started...and put a fork in her, she's done! It'll scare the bejeesus right out of 'em!
Hey, if we get enough people to beleive it's true...it will become true. I bet we can hold off the onslaught of tiering at least a couple more years before people catch on...
Ah...catch on to what, boss? Ah..well..er...to the fact that tiering doesn't have to be complicated, the fact that business users don't even have to know it's going on, that fact that it can be implemented in minutes by the poor little storage guys...you know, boss...the...ah...truth...boss.
Boss? boss? you ok? Boss...?
Sometimes a blind squirl gets lucky...
If you get the WSJ, look at page B1 today at the article "Could This Be 2007? 'Solid-State' MakesRare Tech Comeback".
Exactly my points from last post.
Take that whipper snapper.
Exactly my points from last post.
Take that whipper snapper.
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